35 YEARS AND COUNTING!!!

Today marks 35 years of being married to my bride Mary Lou.  It was on a hot August night at the Eastmoor UMC in Marion Kansas where my grandpa, Wes Just, asked us to repeat our vows before God, our families, and our friends.  We'd memorized our vows and without hesitation we exchanged them between ourselves, promising to be true to one another til "death do us part".  Thus the journey began.

As I reflect back on these past 35 years I cannot imagine being with anyone else.  ML is my best friend, my confidant, my partner, the person who has been the epitome of being a Godly wife and mother to our children.  She has been very gracious, extremely merciful, beyond patient, and very loving to me.  I love being with her and would definitely be lost without her.

As one who officiates many weddings, I find that couples these days spend so much time preparing for the wedding day, especially the reception, that they've given little thought to the marriage.  The wedding day comes and goes, but the marriage is to last forever.  Unfortunately, we are seeing marriages fall apart because of some pie in the sky understanding that the warm fuzzy feeling of "love" will last forever with no thought that marriage is hard work, is grunt and groan, is choosing to love, even on days when one or both seem less than lovable.

ML and I have experienced many many days of wedded bliss.  And yes, we have had "our moments".  But never have we thought of throwing in the towel because we faced an obstacle in the road.  In fact, those obstacles strengthened our marriage, our love for each other.  I feel sorry for those who give up so quickly because they miss out on celebrating the victories over the difficulties and struggles as husband and wife.  Like I said, we've faced some big mountains in our marriage, but we kept climbing. As a result, we can look back and proclaim how we ascended to the top, as difficult as the climb was.

Of course, the glue that holds us together is our love for God which includes our faith in Jesus as our Lord and Savior of our lives and of our marriage.  He has never disappointed.  Now I confess that I've not always understood his plan for us, but he has never left us alone, never forsaken us.  As our love for God has grown, so has our love for each other.  And as the difficult times have come and gone, the fact that our marriage is grounded in our faith, we have endured.  I am so grateful.

It has been an incredible ride this far.  When we got married we were young and just happy to be together.  We did what we could do to make a living.  God blessed us with a couple boys while still living in Kansas.  For some reason, God called us into ministry.  We sold everything and headed to Chicago.  Another boy was born while in school.  Moved back to Kansas.  We've served 4 churches so far. And grandchildren, ah yes, grandchildren.  On and on!

So here we are, 35 years into our marriage.  So very blessed by God.  Mary Lou, you are the love of my life.   Here's to the next 35 years!!   

IRONING OUT THE IRONY!

I write this blog based upon that which I've seen and experienced the past 20 years or so as a pastor.  Maybe some of you clergy types can relate.  Or maybe it's JUST me.


One thing about my vocation, I did not choose it.  My wife and I were happily married, living in rural Kansas, active in our church, had great jobs, and lived close to wonderful family and friends.  Then God pulls a "Go to a land that I will show you" kind of thing.  So after leaving the previously mentioned behind, to Chicagoland we did go.  Bottom line?  Called into ordained ministry.  And that's where we find ourselves today.  Serving as the pastoral husband and wife in a local church.  Did we choose this? No!  Did God call us into the ministry?  Yes!  Without a doubt.

Now, to borrow a phrase of a pastor friend, ministry is "brutiful" - both beautiful and brutal.  Just like any other vocation, there are the good times and the "not-so-good".  But it is the irony that is found in the "not-so-good" that baffles me from time to time.

I have a deep desire for people to experience God's love, his forgiveness, his grace and mercy by virtue of placing faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.  That drives me.  That is my passion, especially seeing lives transformed because of Jesus.  And I acknowledge that my passion can come across as "direct" or "pushy" or even "in your face" at times.  I own that.  Guilty as charged.  But here's where the iron comes into play.

Why is it okay for a CEO to hold accountable those whom he/she oversees?  Why is it it okay for a medical director to call into account those who administer health care to those in need?  Why is it okay for a teacher to give direction and provide discipline to his/her students in the classroom?  Why is it okay for a coach to expect his/her athletes to be responsible to train correctly and be at all practices?  Yet, why is it not okay for a pastor to hold accountable his/her parishioners to the vows they have exchanged with God and the church?

Quit "judging" me, "you're meddling", it's  "none of your business".  I've experienced this for years but let me tell you, I am so glad that a certain pastor "meddled", got in "my business", held me accountable to who I proclaimed to be.  If not, who knows what ditch I'd be in today.  Just as a coach would do, just as a CEO would do, just as a teacher would do, that pastor did, and I am grateful.

As I mentioned, my passion can get in the way of my tact.  I get that and apologize if any of you who are reading this have experienced that.  However, know this, when I stand before God on judgment day, I do not want to be accused of running way from my responsibility to those who have made vows to God and his church by upholding the church by their prayers, presence, gifts, and service.  Should I not do so would be more than irony, it would be a tragedy!